the girl with the sun in her skin

i am falling in love with a girl i cannot have.

she is every melody on the radio and she exists in the spaces that allow me to be

everything that

i never imagined i could be.

she lays beneath me, on top of me, and beside me, her body mirroring mine in shape,

shade,

and size.

she tells me “i don’t know you that well so i don’t love you, but i could”

the consummation of our bellies was the ethereal experience i’d always been waiting for

but

never believed could be mine

my fingers touch inside of her to her core and i feel at home, our lips meet and i swear i

can

taste the next few decades of my life

i am at peace walking beside her as our hands absentmindedly brush against each

other

she believes in angels and without an ounce of irony describes the one that watches her

she is the sort or woman that walks along plucking dandelions from the sidewalk casting

wishes

into the universe

as we travel her footsteps become my favorite melody, the cacophonous crunching of

cement

chips forming into the song i will fall asleep thinking of for the next several nights

i want to take her to art museums and walk through gardens under cherry blossoms as

the

petals fall into her afro until i pick them out one by one, her smiling and giggling

because things

are always getting stuck in there

i want to go to plays and watch her watch them because the actors on stage would pale

in their

attempts to capture my attention when she is right here beside me existing

do you know what it is like to watch her exist?

she thinks in pictures and sounds

painting murals of melodies on my memories. She tells me “i don’t love you, but I could" And I

tell her “but I do.”

Tory Walters (she/they) is a writer from Charlotte, North Carolina interested in interrogating grief, identity, and passion through the lens of deconstructed faith. Tory is inspired by the possibilities that exist when the carceral logic of a good/bad binary is thrown out and new worlds are created.  

SISTORIES PROMPT

Write in your journal or respond in the comment section below.

Grab a mirror and stare lovingly into your eyes for a few moments. Take in your face and/or your body. Notice what thoughts and feelings arise, but don't label them as good or bad. Pay yourself three compliments. (They don't have to be just physical.) Describe the person looking back at you.

Who are they? What do they value? What do they desire?

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