Libra Season
- Niya Friday
Venus
It was October 17th, it felt amazing outside. Not too cold, it was the kind of weather where you just want to be held. I rolled a blunt and the taste of the berry flavored hemp wrap clung to my tongue. The smell of weed and an apple cinnamon wall plug-in filled the air. While the smells clashed, they gave my mind and body a sense of comfort. I got into the shower excited to wash the day away and see where the night would take me. The steam in tandem with my Dr. Bronner’s peppermint body wash opened every pore and sinus in my body. Jazmine Sullivan played in the background while I cleansed. The ritual of scrubbing and singing grounded me. Before I knew it, I had made it through the entire Heaux Tales album. I began to dry off, searching my body for small imperfections. Things I had not noticed earlier. I examined myself further as I moisturized. I layered my products; whipped body butter, oil, then a light perfume. I put on a large T- shirt and some panties. I searched for a balance between cute but not my cutest. I didn't want to seem like I was trying too hard. Nonetheless, the aim was to curate an experience.
The kettle screamed on the stove. I turned the burner off and briefly caught up with my roommate. After getting a message that Eden was downstairs, I threw on some sweats to go downstairs for my nightly session. I loved spending time with them. We smoked and listened to Ari Lennox’s new album which wasn't so new by that point. Regardless, we transformed into music critics. We talked, we kissed, we played this never ending game that imitated a relationship but refused to be defined that way. I invited them upstairs. Once we got there, I drank my tea and offered them some.
~~~
I regularly question my appetite for sex and my inability to commit. The idea of exploring and being explored by someone excites me. But I wonder if people truly want me or just want to consume me. At times, I swallow the need to know the difference. Acknowledging the truth makes me question my value and that's a conversation I'm tired of having with myself. Nonetheless, I love the act. I love the feeling when people are surprised by me. By who I am, by how I am. The twinkle in their eyes when they learn that this is a space that is safe. The freedom others are able to explore with me. Allowing people to show up as they desire. Then participating in the fantasy.
Eden
I'm starting to get into the groove of a new month. It's my favorite month, October. I just got off work and it's truly been one of those days. The chill air greets me as I step out of the building. I love the smell of fall and the breeze that comes with it. The cool air ushers in a coziness that reminds me of my childhood. Smells of pine and cedar guide me as I watch the leaves shift from green to warm hues and I am reminded that the only truth in this world is change. I'd begun to get caught up in the routine of things but this moment grounded me. I rush home to find the gate to my “gated community” broken once again. The rent has been raised by $450 dollars to “provide more protection to the community.” The only issue is the gate doesn’t work, every time I get there I have to call maintenance to let me in. Yes, an extra $450 dollars a month, for a gate that doesn't work and a laundry list of things that need to be done in my unit. Although I’m slightly annoyed waiting for someone to open this gate, I get a text from Venus who seems to always hit me up when I need her most. She asks if I'm free tonight for a session, but even if I was not free I would clear my schedule for her.
Once I get in my apartment, I light my stress relief candle hoping that it eases me and also covers the smell of my dirty dishes. In my defense, they would be clean if my dishwasher was working, but that is yet another issue my leasing office has not fixed. If I don't inhale too hard the smell is basically gone.
I take off my work uniform and shower. I cover my body in Nair; my legs, my arms, and even the little hairs on my knuckles. Cognizant to get every nook and cranny. The Nair funk fills the air and I’m so pissed I had to stop getting waxes. While being hairless isn’t a must, I've become accustomed to my waxed body and that luxury expense has recently been cut. In the shower, I watch the little hairs travel down the drain. I lather up with the tea tree bar I picked up from the farmers' market. I'm not sure if it's better than what I had been using but its promise to “illuminate” my skin seems to be working.
As I rinse off, I try to think of the albums Venus and I have already reviewed. I've already been streaming Ari’s new project, but I doubt Venus has even listened. I put on a matching set. Venus doesn’t care, but I’m 87% sure we’ll have sex tonight and I don't want to be caught slipping. One time I had on some underwear that could have passed for fishnets. I was really behind on laundry and I had to make something shake. That level of embarrassment cannot happen again. Today, we are draped in the finest of undergarments. Before leaving, I want to do a quick tidy-up session, so I can come back to a clean home. I wash the dishes that I've been procrastinating washing. After finishing the dishes, I wipe down the counters, and vacuum both the living room and kitchen area. I'm feeling real adult right now.
Last night I made some lasagna and I'll bring that over to her place for when we have the munchies. Venus never has real food at her house. She is very healthy which is admirable but I don’t want a warm cup of tea and some almonds when I’m high. I run to the smoke shop before I make my way over to her place.
~~~
I love going to the smoke shop to pick out flavored hemp wraps and chatting with the staff about which brand burns the best or tastes best. I enjoy grinding, the breaking down of flower into small manageable bits. The teeth of the grinder grabbing the small buds. The twisting until I can not anymore. The opening of the second compartment to find finely crumbled flower. I love to add multiple herbs to the blend to elevate the experience. Blends of lavender for relaxation, damiana to enhance sensuality, and mullein to soothe our lungs. I even love the funky skunky smell.
I pull out my tray and begin the rolling process. Taking the honey hemp wrap out of the packaging, opening it, and placing the blended herb mixture on to it. The finely ground herbs get on my tongue and I don't mind. As I lick to create a seal, I close my eyes and wonder what Venus will bring to our session. Last time she rolled using rose petals. I have never had an experience quite like that. I felt as our bodies were floating, every issue I was experiencing simply melted away with every inhale. I remember just looking at her and wishing that moment would never end. Her smile, her smell, her rolling skills, her ability to make note of every instrument she hears, she always knows the different samples. I'm so amazed by her. I finish rolling and on the drive over I wonder how long this feeling can last. We agreed to keep things casual but things are too good to just keep them surface level. I want her to know me deeply and I want to know her. I wonder if she'll like what shes sees in me day to day. Can she handle all of me? My ego and arrogance at times. The idea of us scares and excites me. I also don't really want to be thinking about this right now.
I turn up the music and my thoughts fade away. I pull into the parking lot and text her that I am here.
niyafriday is a mixed media/multi-disciplinary artist from Charlotte, NC. They enjoy exploring every creative medium in hopes to better understand themselves and the world around them. Their work shines a light on imagination and limitless possibilities. They hope they give language to ideas and emotions that are deeply intrinsic to the human experience while also honoring a world beyond. niyafriday pushes folks to express themselves by any creative means necessary and welcomes collaboration.
SISTORIES PROMPT
Write in your journal or respond in the comment section below.
Set your pleasure scene. Imagine you are in a room alone or with a crush/partner. How might you curate a site of pleasure in this space? What items are present? What does it smell like? Are there any sounds or music present? Get creative!
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Write a poem about your last (or current) experience having a crush on someone. Be descriptive and engage your senses.