The Calm Before the Rapture & Lioness

Paintings by Destiny Shembo, @dollfacedes @blkbarnyard

The Calm Before The Rapture

This piece was made at the start of the U.S. lockdown and right after I ended my first long-term relationship. That relationship was tumultuous and ended due to his infidelity, which warped my self-esteem and left me feeling uncomfortable in my body. I was disgusted by how he accessed my body for those weeks leading up to our break up knowing all that he had done and was still doing. Weeks later, I wanted to try using oil pastels for the first time since childhood and knew I wanted to make something about sensations so I could blend the pastels to create a unique feeling that I had yet seen my acrylic pieces evoke. My body and sensuality have never made me uncomfortable, it’s always been mine and indubitably tied to my spirituality in such a way that I held it as holy. However, after feeling like my temple had been breached by someone I loved and so deeply trusted, my body and sensuality no longer felt like mine or safe. Realizing that last statement made me decide to put on the piece of lingerie, roll a blunt, and take pictures smoking it because that had always been when I felt my sexiest. Days later I used those pictures as my references to create this piece that imagined evoking a sensation for anyone who looks at it. Each pastel shade and blending motion emulates and radiates the godliness of my body and sensuality that I have felt and am committed to feeling, regardless of the harm projected and done upon it.

Lioness

I created this piece sometime in 2019 and was inspired by how my friend's newly female adopted cat prowled. In her long silky and effortless strides I saw a parallel to femininity. At that point, my metaphors for femininity through feline expression bloomed. Sometimes our inner feminine, goddess/goddess/god, and sensuality is quiet and swift, but at other times it can be roaring and ferocious. So don’t be fooled. This feline can be more soft and merciless than anyone can imagine. No one knows what they, she, or I hold within, so when you catch the usually masked glimpses of their, her, or my inner quake, step back or come close. Only the prowling feline knows what is to come, so take your chance to be enchanted or devoured whole.

I am a first-generation Congolese American who is gender fluid. I was raised in the South with Congolese culture pretty present in my life still. Though I recognize that my socialization is mainly influenced by the US, my understanding of myself and Blackness is grounded in ancient African beliefs and values. I always felt like I was confusing or too much of everything, but I am an amalgamation of love, cultures, tragedies, joy, nature, betrayals, and prayers. All that I have and know is thanks to my physical life guides, a pantheon of Gods, Universe, and Spirit.

Next >